white winter hymnal
by queensofthehill
Summary: in which riley isn't herself.


riley rushed up the last flight of stairs, hyperventilating. she went to the farthest safe place from the party that she could think of.

brain on overdrive, eyes blurred with unshed tears, ears pounding with her own heartbeat so she can't hear anything else.

she didn't even notice her uncle josh, concernedly following her up the stairs of his apartment complex.

riley stops once she busts open the door of the rooftop. she looks around, looking for a distraction from her upcoming panic attack.

thinking irrationally, riley hops onto the ledge of the building, looking down at the concrete top as she used to do when she was younger. she holds her arms out, trying to balance herself, when she stops, and turns to the outer side of it, the night skyline of manhattan showing.

josh, thinking she was going to jump, panicked and snatched her by the waist. riley finally cracked in his arms, sobbing and all, as he comforted her.

"shh, it's gonna be okay. you're safe, you're alright. let's go downstairs, okay? ...do you want me to carry you?" riley mumbled in his chest. so he lifted her up effortlessly, and brought her down to his apartment.

as he opened the already unlocked door, he realised his roommate, brendon, left for a graveyard shift while he was chasing riley. knowing brendon likes to collapse on the bed after a shift like that, josh gently placed riley on his bed and tucked her in like the gentleman he is.

"now why were you out on the rooftop of my apartment? and is that alcohol i smell? are you drunk," josh said sighing.

"mm, tired. talk later."

"fine, only because you've had a rough night. good night, love you." josh kisses riley on her forehead.

riley sniffs, "uncle josh, i don't wanna be alone tonight,"

"okay, i'll be right here." josh whispers, crawling into bed with her.

the next morning, riley wakes up worried.

"hm, what is that smell?"

riley turns around, frantically. not without giving her whiplash, and worsening her pounding headache, i might add. she sees brendon, with a scrunched up expression.

"agh... sorry, i guess i was really drunk..."

seeing how worried she was, brendon calmed down a bit.

"hey, you're josh's niece, right?"

"yeah... are you his roommate?"

"yep."

"he talks about you all the time," riley and brendon talked in unison, and giggled.

"did you just get here?" riley asks.

"yeah, about 10 minutes ago. josh left for a class just now, he'll be back around 10."

"alright."

"you smell like jungle juice and piss. either the jungle juice was mixed with urine which is likely, or you just peed yourself."

"can we go with the first one?" riley rubbed the back of her neck, awkwardly.

"we can tell josh that, sure."

"we're telling josh, no, no, no!"

"well he's gonna wanna know why his sheets are gone,"

"ugh i hate this."

"go get yourself cleaned up, i'll take care of the sheets."

"okay, but what am i supposed to do about my clothes? can i just shower and wear them again?"

"yeah sure, but they'd still be the same piss stained clothes. and i'm not allowing you to wear that again because you could get infections. i'll try to get them to the laundromat if i can."

"okay, thanks brendon."

"no problem riley. now go!" and riley scurried off to the bathroom, as brendon began picking off the sheets.

10 minutes later, riley comes out of the shower looking like she saw a ghost.

"you good?" brendon jokingly asked.

"yep, peachy," riley forced out a laugh.

"seriously?"

"i'm fine," she snapped.

"sit," he pats a spot next to him on his bed.

"no, i'm in a towel and dripping wet." riley tried to stall.

"sit." brendon ordered. seeing he wasn't playing around, riley sat next to him in reluctance. "now whats wrong boo?" brendon asked in a baby voice.

riley giggled, and started biting her nails. "so i went to this party last night,"

"uh huh,"

"and um... yeah,"

"no no no, that's not it. there's something you're not telling me."

a little too quickly, riley adds, "it wasn't that eventful, i went with the six people in my friend group."

"not eventful enough to make you come all the way to your uncle's apartment?" brendon pushes.

"what if i just wanted to visit him?" riley logically replies, quirking an eyebrow.

"might be a logical reason... anyways, go get changed. and if you're not telling me what happened- i understand, i literally just met you a few hours ago. but you're telling josh."

she groaned and grabbed her shirt, then realised she didnt have any other clothes to wear.

"uh... brendon?"

"yeah?"

"because my clothes are dirty, what am i supposed to wear?"

"...let me call josh on that."

"no no no! i'll deal with it."

"i'm not letting you walk around naked," brendon said.

"whats this about walking around naked?" josh walked in.

"oh uh..." they said in unison.

"riley wet the bed!"

"i drank jungle juice with pee in it!" riley yelled. "ow! my head," riley slapped her cold hand on her forehead.

"thats not true!" they pointed at each other.

"okay, riley, what happened?" josh crosses his arms over his chest.

riley tries to talk, but no words come out.

"i'll take over for riley because she's incapable of speaking at this moment," brendon says, as riley silently protests on that. "hmm, she's saying.. i wet... the bed."

"riley, is that true?"

"..y-yeah." riley looks down.

"okay."

"okay? thats it?" riley looks up at josh.

"yeah, i'll see what i have." josh starts to look around the apartment for things riley can wear. about 10 minutes later, he comes back to where riley is standing. "you can wear one of my NYU sweatpants, and here's one of my shirts."

"what about my underwear? it's sorta... ruined."

"about that, haha." the psychology major rubs the back of his head. "the only thing i have is pull-ups." he smiled nervously, waiting for riley's answer.

"pull-ups? pull-ups? as in, training diapers?" riley squints her eyes. "i don't wanna wear that," she frowns. "why do you even have them?"

"i had a psychology project." josh answers simply. riley motions for josh to explain, as brendon turns around and goes to the kitchen to make something for breakfast. "it was a social experiment."

"really?" riley quirks.

"yes, she said it was, actually. here you go." josh hands riley the pull-up.

"no thank you. i'm not a baby. besides, they wouldn't fit me." riley declines.

"thats right, you aren't. but it's literally the only thing i have for you to wear. and all my boxers are in the wash. also, those are adult pull-ups. i had to special order them." josh voices, his tone leaves no argument.

"just take them riley, it's only temporary." brendon pleads.

"fine," riley grumbles, and goes into the bathroom to change.

"good, you're done. now you can put on my sweatpants and we can talk."

"talk? no i don't need to talk." she panicks.

"okay, we'll just chill." he resolves.

"brendon! you have class in ten minutes."

"oh shit!" you could hear a crash in the kitchen.

"language!" josh laughs.

"yeah, i'm okay, thanks for asking!" brendon replies sarcastically.

"just go to class, bumhead."

"fine, hardass." and with that, brendon left.

"okay, niece. what movie do you want to watch? we have... the breakfast club, sleepless in seattle, jaws, rush hour, and titanic."

"um... the breakfast club."

"i knew you were gonna pick either that, or sleepless in seattle." josh smiled. riley laughed half-heartedly, which made josh's smile decrease. "okay, um. let's start this movie marathon."

halfway through the movie, there was a subtle knock at the door.

"i'm coming," josh was curious as to who would come to his door, because brendon had a key.

he opened the door to farkle and zay, whom he greeted. "oh, hey turtleneck, hi zay."

"hey, have you seen riley?" farkle greeted, scanning the entrance.

"yeah, she's on the couch." as farkle rushed in to the living room area, riley sat up properly. zay walked in calmly after.

"h-hi farkle," riley muttered shyly. "hey zay."

"hi, riles." they say back in unison.

"i thought maya and lucas would tag along with you guys..." riley looks down at her feet at the mention of her two friends.

"about that... they're somewhere making out. we originally came with them, but they stayed behind as we were searching for the dorm and as we passed by, they were in a corner making out."

"good for them..." riley mutters. "where's isadora?"

"she's on vacation with her family. she just left yesterday." farkle states.

"so what are y'all watching?" zay asks.

"the breakfast club. my favorite movie," riley smiles cheesily, probably the most genuine smile she's had in a while.

she curled up into zay and farkle a bit more. both farkle and zay notice the crinkling of the pull-up, but farkle is the only one to voice his curiousity.

"riley are you–" he was cut off by zay punching him.

"it's just the couch." zay interrupts.

remember to thank zay, riley thought.

as the four of them begin watching, laughing and crying at the breakfast club, riley stopped laughing when there was someone banging loudly on their door.

"who is it?" josh yelled.

"OPEN THE DAMN DOOR," the voice yelled.

"okay nevermind," josh opens the door with caution, only for maya to storm in, lucas on her tail.

"why haven't you answered my texts? my calls? why did you leave the party last night? did you know your parents are worried about you?" maya bombards riley with questions aggressively.

"oh yeah," josh pulled out his phone, only to see five missed calls from topanga, seven from cory, thirty text messages from the clique six and 20 from corpanga. "geez," josh's eyes widen. "let me go talk to them." josh goes off to the kitchen to call riley's parents.

"my phone died." riley says coldly, looking straight at maya, no hesitation.

"riles, whats wrong?" maya talks to her like she's walking on eggshells around her, like she's fragile.

riley notices lucas hasn't said a word this entire time. only stare at riley in shock.

"lucas, do you have anything to say?" riley squints her eyes, ignoring maya's question.

"uh yeah, what happened to you?" lucas bluntly asks.

riley looks back up at him. "get out."

"what?" maya is in disbelief.

"i said get out, maya. i don't want you or lucas here." riley spits out.

"...okay, riles. zay, farkle?" maya looks to them. riley grabs their hands.

"no, i want them here. i just want you two out."

"but honey–"

"LEAVE!" riley yells, which draws the attention of josh.

"riles, whats up?"

"don't worry josh, we were just leaving..." lucas is finally able to form words. the couple exits.

josh breaks the silence. "riley? cory wants you to come home. let's go."

the four of them leave the apartment, going to riley's home.


End file.
